A person in hurt, a person in pain feels like a loser—in others’ perception, yes it may be, but not in mine. I don’t consider pain as a failure. It is actually your prize for winning the game people are fascinated to play—LOVE. The more you’re hurt, the more you’ll learn. But this is not about embracing the pain love causes you. This is neither how helpless you would become after all the heartaches everyone deals with, nor how miserable you would be after each traumatic separation or any cry-causing event.

I sometimes forget the said endearing meaning of pain. According to Mr. Webster, it is an acute mental or emotional distress or suffering, and it is one that irks or annoys or is otherwise troublesome. But in my most ridiculous yet could-be-the-reality opinion, it is simply the number one reason why people have a tendency to be so self-preserved. They will act, at their very best, bravely enough to show and let others know that they are getting on with their lives when in fact they have not yet moved on. Of course, shedding of tears (especially for girls) will never be out of the scene. It is their way of cleansing the tear ducts and smudging their eye make-up they wore to look better before an enormous fight. Let’s also add that sticky handkerchief blown for hours of non-stop weeping and sniveling resulting to a red, runny nose. Admit it or not, we all went through it countless times. And as we experience those hateful moments, we become open to the fact that it will soon end and another chapter of our life is yet to begin. Another pain awaits us. Another healing process we will undergo—the moving-ons; the recovery…again, new life is coming until we are fed up of that same tiring depression and curing stage that make us numb and immune to persuasion of whatever possibilities life may insist. And that is what I am now—the probably numb person comparable with a soldier battling a never-ending war, unaware that he had fought so much already and didn’t even notice his own bleeding wounds. Effortlessly, I face my own war in life armed with my own belief.

I was left by someone I shared a part of my life with. At first, things were flowing the way I wanted them to. We were both head over heels, but it all changed as time rolled by not knowing that it would be the start of the end. I wasn’t expecting what I was trying to avoid just happened. I was so assured that I became so careless and unfortunately lost one of the precious things I treasured: the relationship that I supposed would last, if not forever, for a long time. But everything went right after a month-long of whining, or let’s just say more than a regular thirty-day countdown of tears flowing. The broken heart was mended as time and space were given the chance to rule over. The pain caused by separation was healed as toughness was slowly being taught.

In this revolving world, comprehension of what’s done is essential; those that cannot be undone and especially never to be. Contentment is the only factor you have to consider. As soon as it is practiced, accepting the truth and facing reality will be a lot easier. Then everything else starts there. Renewed hope and strength are your weapons—the defenses that will surely protect your delicate emotions. Right there will come out a brave self ready to fight again. But what if in the middle of the battle a part of the past comes back? What if it insists to be your present? Is it fair enough to give up the shields that protect? Would it be worthy for a sacrifice?

2006